Friday, July 1, 2011

A MADNESS


(for Melissa)




Within the safety

Of madness,

No words need be spoken:

All doors and windows

Are secured,

Keeping the world at large

At beigh.

The words bounce,

Breaking down

Into syllables

Without meaning,

Sounds without

Translation--

There is no dictionary

For the pain,

The confusion,

The fear

And anticipation.

Not all doors

Are physical,

Wood or metal,

Accessable

Withselected keys

That hang from a ring.

No reasons,

No stories,

No contact allowed,

No affection,

No attention to be paid

To ragged rage,

Slender fear

That slithers

Up and down

The spine,

Along the tongue,

Entangling,

Eating wordswhole

With one quick snap,

Leaving

Bitter silence.


COPYRIGHT (c) 2011 by the author

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

I have power






Thank God

For the words

That keep

My blood

And bone

Safely contained

Within my skin.

Words on the page

Are equivalent

To a cut

Intentionally inflicted.

When the words

Won’t come,

This is when I am afraid.

Without language

To spill onto the page,

All my insecurities

Race back

And forth

Between

Brain and fingers

In search of

An exit.

Words--

His words--

Free me

From my demons,

From my hatreds,

From my loves,

From my hurts.

September 30, 2010, the last

Infliction,

My last relapse,

My last raising

Of questions

For which I had

No answer.


A public act

On the bus

On my way home





After my first class.

Why?

How?

No hiding--

I wore a sleeveless dress,

Cut myself on my shoulder

With my house-key.

I found blood--

I saw red--but

Was unsatisfied,

Uncalmed,

Unimpressed.

And so,

I stopped

Though the reasons

Haven’t changed,

The impulse still comes,

The emotions still rise.

“Leave me alone: I am

Enjoying this day,

This life,

This choice.

Leave me alone.”

And the demons--

They listen.

I do have power.


Copyright (c) 2011 by the author

Saturday, June 18, 2011

CURVES AROUND MIDNIGHT






The curves

Around

Midnight

Lead,

Eventually,

Inevitably,

Seductively

To the precipice

Of dawn, night

Falls away,

Reminded that

It has to descend

In some other time zone,

Some parallel life,

The closing quotation mark,

The final word

Spoken somewhere

Over the horizon.

Somewhere,

Through an open window, a radio

Continues pulsing

Music though

The child it comforts

Has lost the fight

With sleep.

The music plays,

Favorite songs

Go unheard,

Commercial jingles,

The announcer’s voice

Trills out another

Advertisement

Selling everything

To no one

Until the daylight

Trips the alarm,

Day has arrived

To invade the dream world:

Gone, that conversation

With that person

Impossible to reach;

Gone, that visit

To that corner

Of the world;

Back, now,

To life as we

Know it,

As we believe it,

Ready or not,

Here we are,

Bruised

From the fall

From grace,

But breathing--

Still breathing.



Friday, June 17, 2011

MIRANDA V. STATE OF ARIZONA





In re: Miranda v. State of Arizona



FACTS

The Miranda case arose from a police interrogation of a mentally disabled Mexican national.. Miranda was brought in for questioning about a series of kidnappings and rapes that had occurred.

He was taken to an interrogation room.

He was not informed of his right to protect himself against self-incrimination.

He was not informed that he had the right to have an attorney present.

He was not told that if he could not afford an attorney, one would be provided for him.

Two hours after interrogation began, police officers emerged with a confession.

At trial, based on the credence of the police, the admission was entered into evidence.

When the case reached the U.S. Supreme Court, it was one of four similar cases that were taken up at the same time. Of the four cases, three had emerged with signed written confessions to the crimes, and one had ended up with an oral confession.

RULE

For the most part, prior to Miranda, police were routinely given the benefit of the doubt when it came to confessions being entered into evidence. Constitutional protections did bubble up from lower courts, but law enforcement was given broad authority with little judicial oversight.


ANALYSIS


As far back as 1897, in Brown v United States, 168 U.S. 532, 542, 18 S.CT. 183, 187, the court had had to wrestle with the needs of law enforcement versus the rights of defendants.


In the seven decades between Brown and Miranda, the high court had ruled on several matters relating to fourth amendment issues of illegal search and seizure. But it was presumed that society knew its rights, and therefore it was not necessary for officers to inform those they questioned that there were protections available to them.


With Miranda, the court was faced with a respondent who was mentally challenged, someone who was a foreign national, someone who may have had a limited grasp of the English language.


Respondent was taken to an interrogation room, faced with only police officers, with no one to defend him. After only two hours, officers had their confession.


This case shattered the illusion that everyone knew, or should have known, their constitutional protections. If this respondent could be coerced into a confession, with no one to contradict the presumption of police infallibility, then who was truly protected?


One by one, the Warren Court examined the rights given by our Constitution. And one by one, the high court sought to clarify just what those rights were, and what the corresponding responsibilities were for the law enforcement bodies sworn to protect us.


It was argued in Justice Harlan’s dissent from this decision, and is being strenuously argued today, that the Miranda Warning was not, and is not now, truly a necessary part of police procedures. But as has been shown in numerous cases over the past years, abuses of authority still continue. As long as they exist, so should the warnings afforded by Miranda.


Even in a world with the internet, with globally-syndicated American programs, there are those who don’t always know what their rights are, despiteprotestations from certain political quarters.


SOLITUDE IN MOTION





6:00 A.M. And I search quietly for my shoes, my keys, my cane and my cell phone. Living in an apartment with two people who have an allergic reaction to mornings, I’ve mastered the art of quiet living.

Once I’ve gathered my things, I slip quietly out of the house, and leave my wife and daughter to dream for a few more hours while I take a walk.

The sun will begin to rise in a few minutes as I head east. My walk will take me from the small town of Lafayette, California to the city of Walnut Creek. The distance is about five miles, and I’ll make it in just about ninety minutes.

Down the hill of Orchard Hill Court to second Street, then a short jaunt to Mount Diablo Boulevard, and I’m on the first leg of this normal weekend excursion.

Lafayette, with a population of maybe 25,000, is predawn quiet. Few cars pass me as I walk. In just a few minutes, I’ve hit my stride, and established a rhythm that allows me to clear my head of any troubling thoughts. I obey the few traffic signals I encounter. I’m aware of any cars on the streets I cross, and wave them on. I’m in no hurry.

This first leg of my walk, taking me from the heart of the small town to where the sidewalk quite literally ends, is, I guess, about a mile, and I arrive at Pleasant Hill Road about fifteen minutes later. I’ve passed the Park Lafayette HOtel, a 7/Eleven, a Dodge dealership, even a cemetery thus far, but no people on foot.

At Pleasant HIll Road, I head south, passing Hungry Hunter Steakhouse before I reach the onramp for HIghway 24. This is where the sidewalk truly ends. I’ll be walking in the bike lane for the next couple miles.

There aren’t many streets to cross along this stretch of the walk, so whatever is on my mind is free to percolate. Whether it’s a work situation, or something happening at home, now is the time that I get to mull it over, pick it up, turn it this way and that, and make whatever arguments that I might think of.

It amazes me at times that I can be so internalized, and yet so outwardly aware, at the same time, but I’ve gotten used to this paradox by now. I’ve been an urban distance-walker since I was eleven, and my father had the first of two heart attacks. As part of his recovery, he began walking everyday. At first the distances were short, but they grew in length as he recovered, and soon he--and then we--were walking five miles on a Saturday or Sunday morning.

We were the morning people of the family, he and i. it was the time we shared, whether it was breakfast or a walk.

In my teens I came across a book that would take this routine and turn it into a passion, even an obsession.

Being legally blind, as a child my world was constricted to an area of three streets east to west, and one block north to south. But as I grew, I began exploring further and further afield. Of course, I didn’t ask for permission: i just walked. I ventured across first one boulevard boundary, then the other, until I was walking alone on the same route my father and I had done a few years earlier.

And then came the day I received and read Peter Jenkins’s book, A WALK ACROSS AMERICA.

I had never head of someone walking across America. That was an entire continent. The idea blew me away.

And I wanted to do it, too.

I was sixteen, I think, when I read that book. And one weekend, my parents were getting ready to go to a neighbor’s wedding, and they asked me what I was going to do for the day.

“Take a walk,” I said.

And I did. But first, I caught a bus.

I started walking from Sherman Oaks Galleria, and started south on Sepulveda Boulevard.

I didn’t have a destination, really. I just wanted to walk, to see where the street went, and to see what was out there, up there in the hills that served as the southern limits of the San Fernando Valley.

So I walked.

My first idea was to walk as far as Mulhulland Drive.

I reached that point, but first had to learn--remember--how to navigate along a busy street where no sidewalks were built. And I had to pass through a tunnel, with cars whizzing past at 40 miles an hour.

Once I reached Mulhulland, I decided that I didn’t want to stop, so I changed my destination to Willshire Boulevard, and kept moving.

Four hours later, I reached “civilization” again, where I boarded a bus that brought me back into the valley, back to the Galleria, and where I caught a second bus for home.

When I returned home, my parents were back from the wedding. My mother asked me where I’d gone, so I told her.

“Did you hear where she went,” she asked my father in astonishment.

At that point, my parents probably thought I’d lost my mind. Instead, what I’d lost was my fear of the unknown.

Fourteen years, and hundreds of walks, hundreds of miles later, I’m walking along Pleasant Hill Road, heading for Olympic Boulevard, which leads me into the heart of Walnut Creek. And if I wanted it to, it would lead me straight to Barnes & Noble where I could easily spend an entire day among the books. But this morning--it’s maybe 6:45 by this point, the store and its cafe won’t be open, so I’ll make my way to the Walnut Creek BART station instead.

At Olympic Boulevard, I turn east again, facing the risen sun that had been to my left, and thus not in my eyes until now. I can take my pick of the north or south side of the street here. The north side will sprout sidewalks sooner, but the south side bike lane is wider, so I usually chose that side of the street for this next short leg of my trek.

Walnut Creek is a bigger city, and by now there are more cars. There may be some bicyclists, even the occasional jogger to greet me with “Passing on your left.”

Tice Valley Boulevard comes, and I turn left, heading north on the final, shortest, leg of the walk. It’s only seven or eight blocks from here to the station, and it’s sidewalks all the way

Finally, I reach the BART station, so I fish in my pocket for my ticket, run it through the machinery at the fare-gate, and walk through. Up the escalator, and out onto the platform, where I wait, sometimes just minutes, sometimes longer, until the train comes, and I take the five-minute trip back to Lafayette.

By the time I return home, and open the door on the still sleeping family, it might be 8:00. No one else within has awakened, but my day is already revved up, so I grab a Diet Coke and settle down in the living room. I turn on the stereo low, and see what NPR has to say, or tune to the local country music station and relax my muscles.


PROCRASTINATION




Power of procrastination,

Postponing everything

Popcorn,

Questions,

Raspberries

For another day--

There will always be

Another day.

Won’t there?


To write/

To sleep/

Take a walk,

Take a hike,

Take a chance,

Take a minute,

Just five minutes,

This magic moment

Extended, expanding

At lightspeed.


Many paths,

So many dreams,

Roads not taken,

Rubicons not crossed,

Consent not sought

For entry.

Do I dare to

Trespass,

Touch treasure

Sought out?


Catch?

Release?

A second passes,

A heartbeat past doubting,

A feather’s weight more evidence

For one choice than another.

Procrastination perilously hangs

Before a dram more of desire

Tips the scale

Toward chasing the dream.





I leave my room,

My cocoon now too small

To hold me

And still hold my fear,

Too small to hold

Doubts and dreams

And still be shelter.

The clock has stopped.

Thirteen o’clock is the hour

For dreamers who work magic

While the world isn’t watching.



Copyright 2011 by the author

MOBILE MONOLITH

This mobile monolith,

Sand or

Stone,

Concentered

Life force or

Death star

Draws all sapient life

With strong magnetism.


This mobile monolith

Hangs by a thread

Over cradle and crib,

Suspended by

Slender faith:

Vows are made,

Promises broken

In its name


To heavy to carry,

Lighter than air,

Fragile yet

Shatterproof,

Inspiring faith

And fear and

Loathing.

Irresistible, etherial

Ecstatic


Monolithic,

Sky scraping,

Water-carrying,

Stargazing,

Elementally complex

Conjunction of need

And want,

The despised and desired.


Mobile, monolith

Avoiding capture

Or conquest,

Let alone

Captivity,

Not even by

Words or the painter’s brush

Or sculptor’s hand.


We breathe for it,

Dream of it,

Pray for it,

search dictionaries

And wikipedia

To define

The untouchable

Gift.


Copyright (c) 2011 by the author