O NEGATIVE

OUT OF BREATH/
It feels like we’ve run laps around a track:
The track that circles my mind,
From which I cannot escape

A RAZOR


OUT OF THE RAIN
But not out of range
Of the thunder’s clap,
The hand that slaps.

Inner arm


OUT OF EARSHOT/
No one will hear me
If I cry—if I can cry--
if I scream into my pillow.

A nick


OUT OF SIGHT/
They watch me closely,
Searching for signs
That I’ve squealed
about the games.

Red life appears


OUT OF PLACE/
where the quiet is softly shattered
By a voice giving me directions
To an unseen exit.

Catch it with a Band-Aid.


OUT OF MIND/
The only place I can rest,
Where the rules are mine,
Where the penalty is paid.

Set pain free.


OUT OF SUGAR/
I’m running errands
For those living minus knowledge,
Any brand of sweetness.

Despair caught, set free, caught


OUT OF SALT/
They don’t know the meal spoils
And the power is shut of.
A neighbor makes a suggestion.

A temporary secret peace is reached.


OUT OF PATIENCE/
The screaming returns,
Words at high volume,
Anger at high velocity.

Lights on/lights off—my choice.


OUT OF EMPATHY/
For the bruises that result,
Red face, fresh with handprint,
Other sores, secret injury.

No animals to cuddle


OUT OF SCHOOL/
Until I can walk again,
Until the makeup succeeds
In hiding my truth.

No consolation prize For not being good enough


OUT OF THE LOOP/
I cannot tell.
I cannot show.
So I explain it to myself,
Convict myself of complicity.

I distract myself with study


OUT OF THOUGHT/
They come too fast.
They come too bright.
Without a green-lit EXIT.

Straight As may save me.


OUT OF WORDS/
Too many things to say
Without speaking,
Without admitting.

Another O negative to regain control


OUT OF TEARS/
They have emptied
From my eyes,
Leaving me
With no expression.

My wrist blooms


OUT OF SMILES/
I don’t know where I lost it.
My last smile fled
Five years ago at least.

I watch it bloom before applying the Band-Aid.


OUT OF WORDS/
I cannot speak,
I cannot scream.
I wish only to say goodbye.

My silent, invisible scream


OUT OF IDEAS/
No one to tell,
Nothing to tell them.
Only the voices I have to silence.

Canceled by long-sleeved sweaters


OUT OF FEAR/
It’s why I cut,
To feel,
To live.

I know for this moment that I am alive


OUT OF ANGER--NOT/
One last scream
No one can ignore,
HELP written in O negative.

OUT of love/
OUT of blood/
OUT of life.

(C) 2005 BY THE AUTHOR