FRIENDSHIP

How many friends do you have?

Now, how many people would you lay down your life for>

These are the questions that a professor raised in 1985 in Chicano Studies.

Initially, the answers from us students were all over the place.  Three, four, ten.  One classmate said a hundred.

When the second question was asked, suddenly the answers became more and more conservative.

"If you have one friend, by this standard, you're lucky.  If you have two or more, you are truly blessed.

He went on to explain that in certain cultures, like the chicano community, friendships were as highly valued as family connections.  The only difference: we can choose our friends.

At that time, my answer was two, and both of them were people I had grown up with from at least kindergarten.  The number has fluctuated, sometimes as small as one, other times as great as four.

One lesson I've learned is that it doesn't have to be reciprocal.  Sometimes, someone is  so special,for a reason or a season as I've heard it expressed.  I know who these people are in my life.  What I don't know, and we may never know until our back is against a wall, is who will go the distance for us.  The answer is usually surprising.

Do I tell them that they are special, that I would lay down my life for them?  Sometimes that knowledge can come across as frightening, as if I'm requiring that commitment in return;  but I'm not, and I don't.  

At present, there are two people in my life that fit this description, and both of them know.  For one, he has never put it to the test, nor even asked for more than assistance after a medical procedure.  As for the other, the revelation has put some distance between us at this time, though I hope that isn't permanent.  (She will always know how to find me if that need should ever arise.)  

So, as the professor put it 28 years ago:

"How many friends do you have?"

"How many people would you risk your life for?"

Something to think about today.